FEBRUARY!

In February, we...

Traveled to California to visit family, just Jack and me! 

Jack did GREAT on the flights, and even got his own seat! (Well, he and bunny had to share...) 

Jack LOVED meeting Great Grandpa Jim and Great Grandma Norma. Here's a peek at their morning reading time.

Grandma and Grandpa drove up for the day, and we had a WONDERFUL day at the park together!

It's hard to live so far away from Luke's family, so we are very thankful for visits!

We also enjoyed: Costco trips with Daddy...

Watching Uncle Rob play high school basketball -- and hanging out with Daddy and Uncle Adam in the stands.

Reading by the window on cold, rainy days.

Blanket forts with Daddy's work flashlight when he gets home from work.

And, Jack and I started nannying a friend's sweet little boy! Jack is a great helper!!!

And Jack learned to climb...

Other noteworthy things in February: Luke and I got to get away for Valentines Day and had an awesome time pretending to be tourists in Nashville including a FOUR hour dinner date on 2nd, a morning sightseeing run through Bicentennial Park and up past the capital, topped off with a visit to the Country Music Hall of Fame -- and sweet potato pancakes at Pancake Pantry.

JANUARY!

In January...

Jack turned ONE!!!

I think he had a pretty awesome day. 

His grandpa from California came for his big day!

Jack had a good one year appointment -- until Mommy and Daddy had a little trouble getting him re-dressed.

We were given tickets to a life UFC event. Merry Belated Christmas, Luke! :)

We watched a little football...

and went on lots of winter walks. (Jack thought walks while eating Daddy's warm homemade sourdough were even better.)

We enjoyed a visit from our favorite Auntie Ann Wade -- and Sadie!!!

We said goodbye to Uncle James as he headed to Costa Rica for a year of missions work.

Also noteworthy: Luke started working on his own, rather than as a trainee! It was a special month! 

To my darling one year old

My darling boy, 

Today you are one! I am so excited to get to celebrate you and your first year of life today! 

I loved singing happy birthday to you when I came to get you from your crib, and making waffles with you for breakfast, and taking you for a walk in your wagon to see all of your favorite things in the neighborhood. After a long nap, you got to see Daddy for a few minutes after he got home from work and court before we had lunch with Miss Becca and Camille and Graham and Miss Amy and Samuel and Stephen at Chick Fil A. You tried frozen yogurt for the first time, but liked your strawberries better. You loved seeing Grandmom when she stopped by at lunch, and in the afternoon, decided to skip nap altogether to play with the new toy Daddy got you on his way home from work (a ball pit!). Then, you waited outside until Grandad, Grandmom, Uncle Will, and Aunt Rosie came by after school to bring you a card and visit! You loved your Chicken Pot Pie for dinner, and blueberries with cream for dessert. You opened cards from aunts and uncles, some new books, and a piggy bank from Gammy and PopPaw and played in your sink bath 'til Daddy put you to bed. I think you had a pretty wonderful day, though except for the treats and present, it wasn't so very different from most days for you. 

You are such a happy baby, and I think that is mostly because you are so very loved (and constantly entertained) by so many wonderful people. When I thought about one day when we had our first baby, I knew I would love you, but I wasn't prepared for the love I know now that you are here. You bring joy to me every day. Every morning when I wake up to the sound of you talking or your cry, I smile knowing that raising you is the thing more wonderful than sleep. I am so happy to get to spend my days with you. 

You are an amazing (little) man already. I love to see your mind work. Almost every day, we will show you how to do something once, and you watch us do it, and then excitedly try it yourself. You often are able to mimic our actions the first time. Other times you can't quite get it, but we try and encourage you to, instead of getting frustrated, keep trying. When you try a few more times, you are usually able to succeed, and you are so proud of yourself when you do! 

It has been so special to get to watch you develop language and a love for reading as of late. Just this morning you handed me "Hand Hand Fingers Thumb" only minutes after waking. I patted my lap and you crawled into it and settled in to hear the whole book. A few weeks ago, after a trip to the library, you sat on my lap on a rainy afternoon and listened while I read all 18 board books. You now start to point out things in the book - obvious ones, and some not-so-obvious things, and ask about them, or laugh at them. 

You have started, just this week to put words together. You've been saying "Hi Dada" and "Hi dog" for awhile now, but this week for the first time you said "Dada, bubble." pointing to your bubbles, and also "Dog, out" as you went to let Foster out of his crate. Today, you pointed to your riding toy that has two little faces on it, and said "eye!" I asked you where your eye was, and you pointed to it! Last week, you were eating lunch at Grandmom and Grandad's house, and you started saying "Yiih-yah", I picked you up, and you pointed me to the picture of your cousin Lyla. The other day, you were frustrated by the fact that I was taking a shower instead of playing with you, so I asked you where your blue scoop was, that we wash your hair with when you take a bath, and you picked it up and gave it to me! Also, you will often find a tennis ball and say "Hey dog!" (hay-da) and pat your leg until Foster comes to take his ball from you. We also will ask you to "look at Momma" or to "give the book to Aunt Rosie" or "wave to Uncle Will" and you complete all such tasks. My favorite word to hear you say (besides the beautiful sound of "mama" ) is "bubble". It's such a sweet, cute word coming out of your mouth!

With more Independence, we are also starting to have to put more work into teaching you how to obey. You would prefer to throw food off of your tray when you are done eating rather than to ask for "out". We are trying to teach you to do the latter first rather than after food starts to hit the floor. Also, you are starting to scream out when you are excited or upset, and we are trying to teach you to have an "inside" excited voice, and not to yell when you're upset. I am praying for wisdom in how to best teach you how to choose good things.

I've asked your grandparents and even some great grandparents how they would describe you so far. I love their answers. "A little explorer!" (Great Grandpa Paiva) "Adventurous!" Grandad Gilman "social" "a sweetheart'! Everyone agrees you are intelligent, social, HAPPY, funny, fun, sweet, love to cuddle, LOVE to be outside, love to read, love to PLAY. You love all animals. You aren't scared by much, but you aren't reckless either. I can see you weigh out doing certain things. More often than not, though, you choose to try new things with an adventurous spirit, and, for the most part, you know to stay away from the things you've been warned not to go near. You are quick and love to climb and you crawled and walked and talked early. You love life and love sleep and good, healthy food. You are sweet to your momma and daddy, and light up, clap, wave your hands, and laugh when your family members come through the door. You love to play games, and have a quick sense of humor already. You are independent - you much prefer to feed yourself, and seem to have pretty much weaned yourself through your desire to want to get down and play and feed yourself rather than holding still and depending on others. You still love to cuddle, though, or have your back patted, or read in our laps, or be rocked. 

You have just recently learned to be quiet during prayer time, and to hold hands and say your version of "Amen" when we've finished, I watch you watching your aunts and uncles and grandparents during prayer time and copy their behavior. I love your respect and sensitivity to others, but most of all, I love that you are learning from those around you to love Jesus. I pray that your heart will we bound with Christ and you will love him with an unbreakable love like the love He has for you. 

I sometimes catch a glimpse of what you might be like when you are grown...I would have no greater happiness that you for you to grow into a happy, healthy man who loves the Lord and has the fruit of the spirit in his life. Oh the joys you have ahead of you! Until then, I'm soaking up every day of how your hair smells when you've just gotten out of the bath, and how your eyes light up when you learn something new, and how tickled you get when you figure out a new game, and what your sweet face looks like when you look up at me and ask for "Mama!". You bring such a beautiful hope and life to this world. I pray that is a gift you will always share with those around you. You are an amazing, very loved little boy, and I am so humbled and proud to get to be your momma. 

I pray for you each night to have sweet dreams, to keep growing strong and healthy, and to know and love God more each day. The verse I pray for you is from Micah 6:8 and it is that you will "live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God."

I love you, my darling Jack. I am so excited about this next year with you and all of the adventures it holds with you as our sweet, fun, adventuresome sidekick. 

Much, much love, 

Momma

Jack's new word!

He can say "Bubble!" (Excuse the fact that I can't sing...)

Now he can say "Da-da", "Dog", "Tree", and, of course, "Hannah". He is working on "Ma-ma"...he'll say it when he's calling me from his crib, but I'm still "Hannah" 90% of the time. At least he calls me, right? :)

Thankful

Yesterday Luke and I took Jack to his follow-up appointment with his pediatrician, Dr. Mukundan, and I am so very happy to say that he thought Jack looked awesome!

He said for now we'll call what happened Saturday a "spell", and hope it never happens again. If it doesn't, Dr. M is inclined to think it was "intussusception", where (help me out, medical friends) part of one's "gut" temporarily folds into itself (he described it like one of those water weenie toys) and is very painful - so painful that in babies, they'll sometimes go into a shock-like state.

Anyone remember Water Weenies?

Either way, he told us that Jack looks as healthy as a little boy could look, and that he's not worried about his health at all for now. Whew! Maybe Luke and I will start sleeping again now. :) We have never been so thankful for good medical care, and caring, careful doctors. We have made some friends for life, and have more than a few thank you notes to write and cookies to bake for all those who helped us, literally, along the way. 

You know, just before Jack woke up from his nap on Saturday, Luke and I were talking about him, and I was telling Luke that ever since two of our acquaintances lost their little boys, I've had to adjust my perspective on raising Jack. When he was first born, I would think about his whole life ahead of him -- learning to walk, losing his first tooth, starting kindergarten, going to prom, heading to college, having kids of his own...and I was excited about the wonderful, and seemingly inevitable things we would get to walk through with him. In recent months, I've been reminded through watching those around us that, unfortunately, long life and health are not promised for us or for Jack. We are just called to love him and enjoy and be thankful for every moment we have with him. 

When I was holding my son's limp body in my arms on Saturday, begging him to open his eyes and look at Mommy, I was acutely reminded of the words I had just spoken. We prayed in the car that God would restore health and life to him, and we are thankful beyond words that He did. And so, after the appointment yesterday, we headed to one of our favorite places, Pinkerton Park, to swing in the sunshine and breeze and celebrate another day of beautiful, wonderful, life together.

Thank you, God, for our sweet, stubborn, funny, mischievous, crazy-haired, fantastic little boy.

I Think He Feels Better

His Eye is on the Sparrow

So, Jack has been has a pretty healthy little guy so far. No issues when he was born. No ear infections. No stomach bugs. Even his little sniffles have never turned into full-fledged colds. So, I was thinking we may just avoid sick visits to the doctor or ER for a while longer. I was wrong...

* * *

Jack was a little cranky all morning, so we put him down for his afternoon nap a little early. When he woke up, he was crying. Not his usual "come and get me" cry, which turns into a grin once we come into his room. Instead, it was a red-faced, lip-quivering, sad, loud cry. I held him and asked him what was wrong. I tried nursing him, but he wriggled down the floor and laid on the ground crying. When I picked him up, he wouldn't be consoled. He began screaming out loudly, as if in pain. I assumed his first tooth coming in was bothering him, so I gave him some Children's Tylenol and then quickly took his temp (which was normal) in case he had a fever I couldn't feel.

Still, something was wrong, so I called Mom. She said to offer him some of his favorite things and see if he'd be consoled by them...so I offered Puffs, then watermelon, and then a bath...he didn't want to eat his favorite treats, and just laid his head on the floor of the bathtub while it was filling up. I got him out and called the pediatrician. I got the message, and was trying to listen to the number to call for the answering service when Jack went limp in my arms. His little face and lips turned white, his skin was cold and clammy, and he closed his eyes, and wouldn't open them when I called his name. I shook him and screamed his name, and he opened them and looked at me, but didn't seem to see me. I yelled to Luke that something was very wrong. He took Jack, I slipped on shoes and grabbed my purse (but no diaper bag!) and ran to the car to head to the closest hospital, Williamson County Medical. 

Luke was driving like he was running code at work, and called his mom, who works there, to let them know we were coming. As we were driving, Jack became paler and less responsive. By the time we got to Mack Hatcher and Cool Springs, he wasn't responding at all, and I called 911 to ask if there was anything I could do besides get to the hospital as fast as possible. Just as the (excellent) dispatcher was telling me to pull into the fire station on Hwy 96, Luke was calling to me, "If they tell me to stop, I'm not going to!" I told the dispatcher, "My husband is a cop and he said he's not going to stop 'til we get there." Luke was confident he could meet an ambulance on the way faster than if we pulled over to wait for one. The dispatcher said "I don't care who your husband is, you need to pull over at the fire station, and they will help you right now." I asked "Will they get us an ambulance?" And he said, "Yes ma'am. We'll have one right there. I'm calling them now."

As Luke careened into the fire station, I was checking Jack for breath and we could smell our van (As Luke said, it might need a tune up). Now is the part where we take back every witty retort we ever spoke about firefighters. :) They. Were. Awesome. As we ran up to them, Jack opened his eyes and vomited...all over Luke and all over one of the firemen's uniforms. I can't imagine Luke being more excited to be soaked in vomit. That was the first moment we thought Jack was going to be ok. He was still limp in his daddy's arms, and very pale, but he was responsive, and even tried to pull away from the tiny oxygen mask they gave him. For the first time, I loved his stubborn streak. 

The ambulance was there immediately. Jack didn't even resist lying down on the gurney and being examined and monitored. It was almost like he knew he was sick and wanted the help. When starting an IV, they couldn't get one in his arm, or his little hand, no matter how hard they tried, so they put a line into his foot. While he didn't like that, he also didn't resist as those who know Jack might guess he would. He just cried. While Luke answered questions and watched what they were doing, I wiped his little tears away and sang "Jesus Loves Me". It was so good to hear him cry. 

I had texted my mom to call the pediatrician for me, and the ped on call called us back and told us to go on to Vandy (Luke's mom's recommendation as well). Only one of us could ride in the ambulance, so Luke followed right behind us. Jack liked being able to see Daddy the whole way. On the way there, they gave him a bag of fluids and checked his glucose, which came back ok. 

Once we arrived, Jack was looking more like himself and even gave the EMT a half smile. I told Jack that we were where his momma was born and they were going to help him feel all better. The staff couldn't have been nicer or more professional. After examining him, running an EKG, and observing him for a few hours, they determined that he was stable and ok to be released, but didn't have any answers for us. At first they thought perhaps it was an infection, but he didn't have any fever, and he was 90% himself by the time we left. They wondered about a seizure, but he was missing the classic seizure signs, and again, no fever -- even after the Tylenol wore off. So, they left us with two guesses: perhaps he became acutely ill from a virus or something, or more remotely, perhaps he has Supraventricular Tachycardia (SVT), which would have caused his heart to race, not allowing enough oxygen through his system, until a "shock" to his body (ie, vomiting), helped everything get back on track. (Doctor friends, correct me if that's not quite right.)

We will go see our ped tomorrow at 11:30, and are just supposed to keep a good eye on him until then, and respond the same way if the symptoms show themselves again. (Except for maybe with with less screaming on my part. ;)  ) We are praying it was just something in his system that's now gone, but I'm buckling in for the ride that is raising little boys -- or kids for that matter. 

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for little Jack, and praise our wonderful God that Jack is back home with us today, getting into everything he can get his hands on. 

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.